I FUCKING HATE YOU, OKAY?
by immortalnite666
Summary: John likes Nicolas Cage too much. That's what Karkat's going to pin his issues on this time, at least. That, and his stupid body making stupid decisions.


JohnKat

I FUCKING HATE YOU, OKAY?

Karkat leaned back in his chair, staring at the wall. The John human was being a bloody idiot again. It was movie night, and he wanted to watch what? A Nic Cage movie. Even though every last person in the room has seen it, and every other Nic Cage movie on the planet.

Rose and Kanaya, who still came over every Friday even though they knew what they would end up watching because they were too nice to say anything about it. Dave and Tavros, who only came because Dave secretly liked the movies but was just too cool to admit it. Jade, because she was John's sister and seemed to actually enjoy these repetitive marathons. And him, Karkat, because he was John's fucking flatmate and could not have escaped even if he had wanted to.

Which he most certainly did. Karkat wanted nothing more than to go to his room or something, anything that wasn't this. Even his moiral's crazy hotboxing parties were starting to look better. But no, he couldn't, because then Egderp would be all butthurt and would make Karkat feel like one of those people who kick barkbeast young for all the teary-eyed looks he'd get.

To be honest, usually it wasn't so bad. He just... felt off today. The room was about ten million degrees, his clothes were uncomfortable and the TV was too loud. John's legs, which where carelessly thrown across his lap, seemed far too heavy and far too hot. Everyone in the room was too close to him and they just needed to back off. He felt like he was going to explode.

The movie was about thirty minutes from being over when John decided to switch his position on the couch, throwing his legs over Dave, who just ignored him and continued feeding popcorn to Tavros, who was sitting at his feet. He leaned his back against Karkat, a hand reaching up to pet him.

"Karkittyyyyy." John crooned, his fingers brushing over Karkat's hair.

A little rush of heat burned into him from where they touched and it took all of Karkat's willpower not to leap up, snarl at the human and run from the room. He had been petting Dave before, why couldn't he just go back to doing that?

Karkat fidgeted, squirmed and grimaced his way through the rest of the movie. As soon as the obligatory, hurried farewells were shouted, he rushed to his room. The credits still hadn't finished playing, and John hadn't even gotten up yet when he left, but there was no way he was going to finish that. Karkat lay on his back on the floor, everything feeling too much and not enough at the same time.

The carpet on the backs of his arms was rough and borderline painful. It made him want to claw his skin off. He got up, stripping off his clothes and lay on his bed, wiping little beads of sweat off his brow. Angrily twisting his fingers in his hair and pulling, his back arched in frustration at this feverish feeling. His fingers brushed his horns lightly and the jolt of sensation that ran through his body startled him upright.

 _Oh shit. Please no. Please tell me it's not fucking time._

He glanced at his computer, the screen dark and blank. Getting up from his bed, he walked over to it, forgetting about his discomfort for a moment. He turned it on and opened up the calendar. He wanted to scream in frustration.

It was this week. Why the bloody fuck was it this week. Why did his stupid adolescent body need to do this. He wasn't an adult. Fuck, the imperial drones weren't even a thing anymore. His body had no need to annually practise how to be a bitch and constantly need to pail for an entire day.

Huffing in irritation, he stormed back to his bed and threw himself on it, wrapping himself in blankets. Nothing to do but wait it out. Don't move, don't talk to anyone, don't get out of bed. That was the advice his lusus had given him when he had gotten this for the first time.

He turned on his side, facing the wall. Out in the living room, he could hear John saying goodbye to Tavros and Dave, Rose and Kanaya presumably having already left. He heard the front door shut and the ending credit music from the TV shut off. John's footstep's in the kitchen... now the hallway... now paused. Paused right outside his door. Fuck.

 _Please don't Egderp. Not now, you stupid human. Don't you dare._

"Karkat? Are you alright?" John called, opening his door and looking in.

Karkat cringed. Why, John, why?

"I'm fine, fuckass. Piss off." Karkat kept his back to the door and to John.

He could practically hear the smile in John's voice.

"Noooopppeee. What's up?" The door shut and Karkat nearly swore. He rolled onto his back but kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling. He was very, very glad he had the blankets pulled up to his chin.

"Egderp, this isn't the time. Fuck the hell off- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Karkat yelled and jerked in surprise as a weight landed on his lower stomach. John grinned down at him, straddling his waist.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." John half-sang, a silly smile on his face. He started to rock back and forth on Karkat, pretending his stomach was a trampoline. Karkat bit his tongue, trying to hold back a groan as John accidentally brushed his buldge.

"John. Get off me. Now." Karkat tried to growl as best he could, untangling his arms to shove the human off.

John just laughed and grabbed his wrists, using his bigger frame to pin the smaller troll boy down. Then he sat back, using Karkat's trapped wrists to pull him into a sitting position. The sheet fell off his chest as he sat up and John looked surprised. He stared at the bare, grey torso with curiosity. Karkat usually slept clothed and never walked around shirtless like John was prone to doing in the morning.

Karkat glared and tried to tug his hands back from John. "Yes, I'm hot, I know. Now get out. This isn't the time."

John looked back at Karkat's face, seeming startled. He blinked a few times, like he was trying to focus his eyes. He dropped one of Karkat's hands, reaching out to touch his chest.

"Woah. I seriously thought your skin was going to be rough. Like an elephant or something."

Karkat accidentally let a tiny moan slip through when John touched his skin. The hyper-sensitive nerve endings seemed to have decided that since he was now no longer wearing clothes, it must mean he was going to pail. Not likely, obviously, but apparently his brain was no longer listening to reason.

"Egderp, I don't even know what an elephant is. Now, get out, or you're not going to like what happens." Karkat groaned. Judging by the reaction he was getting from his, ahem, lower parts, his body didn't know or didn't care that John was human and probably had some freaky weird alien shit going on downstairs.

John, being the naïve idiot he is, rocked back and refused to get off. "Why? What's wrong?"

Karkat gritted his teeth. "Because my body is telling me I need to pail, now, or I'm going to die. So unless you wanna assist me with that, get off." He closed his eyes and leaned back, trying to keep his face as blank as possible. When he felt John's weight shift off his bed, he was relieved, but also felt strangely disappointed. He banished that disappointment to the farthest corners of his mind.

His eyes flew back open when there was a wet pressure on his mouth. He jerked away and looked at John, who was leaning over his bed, in confusion.

"What the fuck are you doing, fuckass?"

John shrugged and got back on the bed, swinging a leg over his hips and straddling him again. "Maybe I wanna assist."

Karkat growled and tried to ignore how every cell in his body wanted to jerk his hips a little, get some sort of friction against his bulge.

"Thought you weren't homosexual, John. Maybe I don't want your assistance."

John smirked, and Karkat wondered where he had gotten that look from. That look wasn't a usual John-type look. There was no dopey cuteness, happy innocence or any other childlike emotions he had come to associate with the human's leader. This look was dark, knowing, and- jegus- kind of hot. He leaned over Karkat, forcing the troll onto his back. John's hands found his wrists again and they ended up in almost the same position as before, just _much_ closer. He leaned in closer and kissed Karkat again.

It took a second for him to process the whole thing. Because, what the hell, John was kissing him. And then another second for his body and mind to battle out what to do. His body won that fight. By a lot.

Karkat squirmed a little and tentatively started to kiss back. He'd never really done this with anyone before, and definitely not in these circumstances. John's tongue swiped across his lower lip before pushing into his mouth. Karkat moaned as his body tingled with need. John quickly let go of Karkat to strip off his shirt, tossing it to the side and quickly recapturing Karkat's wrists. He brought his arms up above his head, crossing them over each other and transferring them both to one hand. He slid his free hand down Karkat's side, humming when his fingers were only met with soft skin under the sheets. His finger skimmed lower, brushing over his bulge. Karkat jerked and John let his fingers pause there before moving on, lower. He pressed a finger into his nook and Karkat's head fell back, breaking the kiss. An embarrassingly loud moan flew from his mouth and John chuckled at him.

"Karkitty likes that, huh?" Karkat was about to snarl at him when John's other hand let go of his arms, finding his horns in his hair. He rubbed at the base of them with a soft pressure, twisting the loose skin where his horns protruded from his skull and Karkat saw stars. His whole body drew taught like a bowstring ready to fire, senses momentarily overloaded. John giggled against his throat and pressed his finger deeper into Karkat.

Karkat wirthed against him, his body painfully but deliciously sensitive to the rough denim of John's jeans, the blankets between them having been shoved aside at some point. John laughed and sucked at a spot behind his ear.

"Unless you want me to stop this," He pushed a second finger in halfway. "You'll need to help me take those off."

He mewled and started working at the buttons with shaking hands. John reached down to help with the zipper, then kicked them off with relative ease, along with his boxers. Karkat tried not to look at whatever that thing he had there was. It looked weird as fuck and Karkat was very unsure about how it was supposed to work, but at the moment he couldn't figure out how to hold a train of thought very well, especially with John sucking on his neck and pressing yet another finger into him. His whole body felt like a live wire, like his cherry red mutant blood had been replaced with that Faygo shit Gamzee worshipped.

John slowly removed his fingers and it felt like something was being dragged out of his insides. He writhed and pressed back against them, desperate for a little more. John sat up, pulling Karkat with him. He turned the troll boy around, pushing him down so he was on his hands and knees with his back to John.

John grabbed his throat, cutting off his air a little. Karkat could feel a different part of John pressing against him, harder and thicker than his fingers. It was much thicker than anything he had ever felt before, thicker than his own bulge and he briefly wondered if all humans had parts that size or if John was just exceptional. He wanted to ask, but with his head slowly going fuzzy from the lack of air and the burning desire he felt pooling in his core, he couldn't form the words. John slowly slid into him, pressing Karkat's back into his muscled chest and leaning over the troll boy. Karkat let a choked moan slip past his lips. He could almost hear the smirk in John's breathing. John took a deep breath before pulling out and slamming back in brutally. Karkat tried to stifle his moan, but it didn't work very well and was still embarrassingly loud. John released the grip he had around his throat and moved it to one of his nubby horns, gripping it and using it to pull Karkat's head back. Angling his head, John nipped at the underside of Karat's throat.

"Don't muffle," He said, pulling out again. "your voice."

He bit, hard, at his neck and pushed back in at the same time, getting a loud shout from Karkat. Normally, Karkat would have replied with some snarky comment asking why he had to follow John's rules, but he couldn't think of any reason not to comply. John set a rough pace, hard and fast and _perfect._ Karkat's body shook with every thrust. His body felt completely boneless, unresponsive from the overwhelming pleasure and need flooding his body. The only thing keeping him from falling face first onto the bed was John's hand, which had slid back down to his throat. Karkat felt like his nerve endings were on fire, burning in the best possible way. He made a high, breathy growl that came out sounding like a purr. John's laughter rumbled through his body and the grip on his throat tightened for a second.

"Aww, the Karkitty purrs." John lowered his head to bite at the spot just behind his ear. "You should do it again."

He did. He fucking purred. Later, he'd swear up and down that he made no such noise, but right now he just purred. Karkat felt his bulge unsheath from the bone and he knew he probably needed to get a bucket now. He tried to tell John, but the human seemed to have already understood that. Letting go of him for a second, John moved the bucket he had placed right next to the bed and put it under Karkat. He then picked up the pace, and his hand tightened around Karkat's neck until he almost couldn't breathe. His muscles tightened and he felt like his body was going to explode. Then, it sort of did. Waves of white hot ecstasy that bordered on painful flooded his senses, stars flashing in his gaze. John relaxed his hand and Karkat gasped, feeling John come inside him. He slumped forward, trying not to knock over the now full bucket. John moved it out of the way and rolled Karkat over so they were spooning on the bed. His whole body was oversensitive but the light, feathery touches that John was dragging across his arm and chest felt like heaven. He tilted his head back, pressing it into John's chest. He wanted to say something, but a simple "thank you" didn't really seem appropriate right now. He said it anyway.

"Thank you."

"I think I've wanted that for a long time." John muttered. "I just, I don't know. From the first time I talked to you, and the first time you talked to me, I wanted to see you come apart. You put up this barrier, KK. And then you don't let anyone through it, even if you really should. You bear everything by yourself." He drew in a deep breath. "You shouldn't. I want to be there for you, but you gotta let me in a little."

Karkat ducked his head, feeling scared. It wasn't that he didn't trust John, not really. He was just used to not trusting. "I... I'll try. I'm not used to this. Not being scared of being killed by someone for something I can't control. Not having to view everyone as a potential assassin. John, all my life, I've been told I can't trust anyone, because they'll kill me if I do. Because, if they get to close, especially like this," Karkat turned and gestured between them. "they'll find out my blood colour and kill me."

John smiled at him and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, mine's the same colour. And I'd never kill you."

Karkat blushed and turned back around. "Just shut up and let me go to sleep, John."

Karkat felt the bed shift and John stood up.

"Okay, fine, I'll leave you alone now."

"John."

Yes?"

There was an annoying smile in his voice that Karkat wanted to wipe off his face.

"Get back in the fucking bed."

"Egderp, I am NOT watching another Nicolas Cage movie." Karkat called down the hall, walking towards the living room where their guests were. "we have been watching your movies for the last three months, I want to pick the movie this time."

There was a collective groan from the couches and John threw a smug look over at Karkat from where he stood by the microwave.

"No, we're gonna watch National Treasure this time. And did you hear that? Majority rule, we aren't watching one of your movies."

Karkat glowered at him and crossed his arms, leaning against the back of the couch that they usually sat on.

"Well, I don't care. I am not gonna watch some stupid, badly acted movie with overdramatic camera angles and heroic posing courtesy of Cage."

Tavros, Dave, Kanaya, Rose and Jade had now all turned around to watch this. John smiled and motioned from Karkat to come over to where he was. Karkat, keeping his scowl firmly in place, walked over.

"Karkat?" John said when he got close enough.

"Yeah?"

John grabbed his waist and spun him around, pinning the smaller boy to the wall.

"Shut up."

He tangled his fingers in the black locks and tilted Karkat's face up, pushing their lips together forcefully. Karkat made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but wrapped his arms around John's neck anyway, kissing him back. When they pulled away, several shocked stares were focused on them.

"Wow. Um. That was. Uh. Unexpected." Tavros looked slightly unsure of what facial expression to make and had settled for something halfway between grossed out and nervous.

Dave's expression was, of course, unchanged, but he gave them two approving thumbs up.

Kanaya looked supremely uncomfortable, but Rose's eyes glittered with something a little scary and Karkat began to think he might need Sollux to hack her computer and make sure she didn't post anything about him anywhere.

"Awww! I'm so happy it worked out!" Jade squealed, beaming at her paradox brother. John smiled back, pulling away from Karkat a little to grin back at her.

"I know, only took me a few months and Karkat-"

Karkat promptly slapped a hand over John's mouth. John licked his palm, making him jerk the hand away in surprise and scowl at the human. He grabbed Karkat's hand, the one he had licked, and tugged them both over to the sitting area. He switched on the TV and started National Treasure, before sitting down and dragging Karkat onto his lap. John locked his arms around his waist, so he couldn't squirm away and rested his chin lightly on Karkat's shoulder.

"I love you." He hummed under his breath. Karkat blushed and stared intently at the screen. John poked his arm a few times.

"I fucking hate you, Egderp." He growled and pretended to be annoyed. Given the little laugh he felt from John, they both knew what he meant by that.

 _I love you, too._


End file.
